War may sometimes be a necessary evil.  But no matter how necessary, it is evil, never a good.  We will not learn to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.  The bond of common humanity is stronger than the divisiveness of our fears and prejudices.  God gives us the capacity for choice.  We can choose to alleviate suffering.  We can choose to work together for peace.  We can make these changes---and we must.

                                                            Jimmy Carter. Noble Peace Prize acceptance speech Oslo, December 10, 2002

War can be both an external and an internal process in any situation where one side is trying to conquer, oppress or eliminate another. Before delving too deeply into an exploration of self, be certain that you have addressed issues that will only cause confusion and conflict if left unaddressed.  You would not begin a trek into unexplored territories without researching the possibilities of changing weather conditions, unfriendly areas, or dangerous wildlife.  Abuse, violence, and addiction left unacknowledged can be just as unpredictable, unfriendly and dangerous to the internal trekker. If you have a history of abuse or addiction in your background, and have not sought professional help, it is likely that you would become more confused or anxious while doing the work of self exploration. The goal of Innerlandscape work is self discovery and healing, but some wounds and behavior patterns need an outside professional or support person to assist their healing.  If you use any behavior or substance regularly to deal with anxiety, the work of Innerlandscape could be self defeating, as anxiety and uncertainty are sure to arise in the process of growth.  

The Nature of Violence, Abuse and Healing

Many of us acknowledge the dark and light side of being human; however, when the darkness of violence explodes and envelopes us on a global scale as in the attacks on the WTC and the Pentagon Tuesday, 9/11/01 or the killings at Columbine or Virginia Tech, we may be shaken to our cores.  Whether the violence occurs on a personal level as in the case of family violence, social level as in school violence or political level, it impacts us on our deepest level of survival and leaves us questioning our basic safety in the world.  Foremost in these situations, is our concern  for the healing and recovery of the victims.   Dr. Frank Ochberg, a leader in the understanding and treatment of PTSD, eloquently encourages us to further the healing by "turning victims into survivors, thrivers and teachers".  Please visit  www.giftfromwithin.org for a wealth of articles and support for survivors of trauma and PTSD.

  At the root of all violence is helplessness.  It is the ultimate act of desperation by people who often feel isolated, oppressed and perceive themselves as having no other resources.  This is an especially difficult concept to embrace, as the perpetrators of violence often present themselves as arrogant, entitled and without blame or personal responsibility.  Their acts are often justified by the assertion that the violence was in response to the victim's behavior.  Having compassion for the perpetrators of violence is a monumental task, albeit a necessary one, if we are to reach the core of this type of human suffering.  This is not a statement to excuse or not hold accountable the perpetrators of violence; however, if we do nothing but punish or retaliate against the perpetrator, we have not touched the problem at its core.   If in our own darkest places, we are harboring unacknowledged anger, hurt, fear or resentment, self awareness, compassion and forgiveness will be difficult to attain. By the same token, if we feel immune to the possibility of violence touching us closely, we might project an arrogance or judgment that prevents us from developing the empathic connection necessary for understanding, forgiveness or healing. Anger and aggression are the core of all violent acts.  The biological roots of anger, aggression and violence are an ongoing area of investigation.    Anger and aggression are often correlated to head trauma, PTSD and use of alcohol and some other drugs, such as methamphetamine and PCP. 

People with PTSD may startle easily, become emotionally numb (especially in relation to people with whom they used to be close), lose interest in things they used to enjoy, have trouble feeling affectionate, be irritable, become more aggressive, or even become violent. They avoid situations that remind them of the original incident, and anniversaries of the incident are often very difficult. PTSD symptoms seem to be worse if the event that triggered them was deliberately initiated by another person, as in a mugging or a kidnapping. Most people with PTSD repeatedly relive the trauma in their thoughts during the day and in nightmares when they sleep. These are called flashbacks. Flashbacks may consist of images, sounds, smells, or feelings, and are often triggered by ordinary occurrences, such as a door slamming or a car backfiring on the street. A person having a flashback may lose touch with reality and believe that the traumatic incident is happening all over again. NIMH Anxiety Disorders

On a psychological/spiritual level, we consider the root cause of anger and aggression to be separation from our wants, desires and each other.  In acts of aggression, we may feel our desires are not being met or that we are being violated from the outside.  Whether the violence is against ourselves, another being or nature, we are disconnected from our Self and our unity with others.   Clearly, a typical human response is to lash out in self defense.  When we feel hurt or violated or we want something that is not forthcoming, our first infantile response is to try and take the desired object.  We see this developmentally in the actions of babies, i.e.  infants want what they want, when they want it.  In healthy families, food, clothing, shelter are given with love.  If the desired object is something that may harm the child, his or her efforts will be frustrated.  The child might scream, cry or lash out until their needs are refocused elsewhere. We sometimes see this behavior beyond the age where it was appropriate, particularly with individuals who have not experienced the word ‘no’.  People who commit acts of violence are similarly frustrated with their aim and displace their anger towards the people they perceive to be frustrating their desires.  They are able to separate themselves from any connection to the result of hurting another.  Thus, the terms commonly used are "detached", "calculated", "cold blooded" to describe the killers. They justify their acts through the rationale of what the other has done.  Their world is self-focused. 

        How is violence fostered?  Quite simply it is taught. This can be at a most elementary level in situations wherein the baby's needs truly are not met and the individual does not learn that the world is a kind, nurturing and safe place.  In homes where despair, abuse or addiction dominate there is little energy left for attending to the needs of children.  The learning can also be social. In her seminal work Deadly Consequences, Dr. Prothrow-Stith, quotes a study of aggressive behavior in children 12-14 months of age, wherein both boys and girls exhibited aggressive responses equally. 

Children from violent families often continue the cycle of violence.  The result of parental indoctrination may be the creation of children who do not      know how to cope with angry feelings in ways that are not violent. Counting to ten; walking away from an argument; using words instead of punches and making a joke to cut the tension are all helpful devices unavailable to untaught young people.  Instead, their anger may all too quickly become violent aggression, particularly if in the past they themselves have been the object of someone else's rage.  Children are not to blame for their inability to handle anger in non lethal ways. (Deadly Consequences, Prothrow-Stith, p.23.) 

 What was noteworthy in this study was that the girls behavior was ignored 80% of the time; whereas, the boy's actions were commented upon.   There was a reinforcement of the boys’ behavior and a belief that it is intertwined with 'being a boy' and 'becoming a man".  People are taught and encouraged to "stand up for themselves,"  “not be a wimp," to "just make sure the other guy looks worse than you."  Most often when working with perpetrators of violence you hear some refrain that they want the other person to "feel worse" than they do.  New unsettling statistics note a marked increase in violent behavior among girls.  Are we as a society now promoting a 'tough girl kind of persona' who loves hard and fights hard?  Today’s woman no longer brings home the bacon, cooks it up in the pan but she is now both "sexy and can kick butt."  We need only to look at the success of heroines Terminator 2, Charlie's Angels, or Dark Angel for evidence of this trend. 

Dr. Prothrow-Stith also provides a wealth of studies correlating excessive exposure to video violence through television and video games to an increased tendency to respond violently and a numbing affect as to the consequences of their actions.  Violence breeds a separation from self and other.   While exploring our Innerlandscape, we need a place of safety for our self and others.  We need to be able to connect.  As a therapist, I witnessed many of my clients struggling to survive from abusive beginnings.   I no longer watch human dramas on television or in movies because the human drama to which I have born witness was deeply painful. The stories on the TV are not just stories to me.  I know they are real.  I feel this is an oddity about modern American culture.  Traditionally, cultures pass down their teachings and mores through storytelling.  There is never a disclaimer, “This is only a story, it is not real.”  Yet, this is exactly what we do when we allow children watch cruelty, horror and violence with the disclaimer “This isn’t real.”   Be observant and watch the actions of children following such entertainment.  The subsequent violence in their play is evident as they try to process the ‘unreal materials’.  Some things related to relationship or innuendo may go right over children’s heads, but witnessing torture, fear and violence gets into their psyches and needs to be let out again.  Saying “it is not real” does not calm the psyche.  Young minds do not distinguish between real and unreal just because they are told to do so. It has been reported that simulations and video games have long been used by the military for training and desensitization purposes.  If we stand back and observe children, we see that they frequently reenact the roles or stories they see on television or video games.  This play gives them an outlet for self expression and mastery over the material they have viewed.    When the material is aggressive and violent; so, goes their behavior.  While by no means a controlled scientific situation, I remember watching my own children and their playmates.  The difference in behavior following a Winnie the Pooh video versus Power Rangers was astounding.  The difference in the interaction of play following Super Mario vs. Jet Force Gemini is equally as interesting to witness.  Whether the play was aggressive or cooperative, appeared highly correlated to what was viewed.   We must be aware of the division we can encourage by exposing kids to too much too early.  Violence breeds a separation from self and other.  

Although many of us have long suspected this reality of video’s impact, there is a tendency, as overstressed parents, to become less vigilant about what our child watches or plays.   As our tiredness increases, our boundaries and limits tend to loosen.  Setting limits and boundaries can be an ongoing struggle with many kids.  Kids do learn to respect the limits and understand why their parent might have the rule in the first place.   By staying clear and firm with the concern for yourself and your kids in mind, you can make any changes and hold any limits you need to hold.   It takes time and consistency, but it does pay off in respect, self discipline and self care.  I am not purporting that we eliminate all violent action video from the lives of our children, but that we at least pause to consider the effects of this exposure on ourselves and our children.  Let us break the denial that associates watching violence with an accepted norm or as a statement of personal freedom and assume responsibility for balancing our environments with time for life affirming creative pursuits. 

  If we are going to address the underlying issue of our separateness, we must take a united approach.  While violence and separation can be learned and modeled; so, can unity and cooperation.  On the social political level, addressing violence will require a multidisciplinary approach involving early education and prevention, social service and law enforcement agencies, medical response teams and counselors.   It is only in working together to present and provide alternatives to violence, that we can deal with the core of the issue that produces such great trauma and chaos in our world.

On a personal level, if anger is your struggle, taking time out to reflect before striking, through words or actions, can save years of regret for having caused more pain to others. Pay attention to your diet , need for rest and habits.  Avoiding certain foods with sugar, alcohol, and caffeine can do wonders for balancing the body and mind.  The book Potatoes not Prozac provides a wealth of material and support to get our bodies back on track if we have sensitivities to alcohol or sugar. Getting enough alone time can provide a respite for a weary soul.  Try to take responsibility for your own situation and not allow it to spill into your family and home.  There are always nonviolent choices available to us in any situation.  It is our challenge to make those choices.  Remove ourselves from the disturbing situation.  Anger is a fiery emotion.  If you remove the wind, and the fuel it dies out. Although violence, anger, dominance or submission may be long held behavior patterns, change is always possible and it can begin today.  Be gentle and determined.  You do make a difference.  We can all end the war within.

Abuse takes the issue of violence into the home and crosses all lines of culture and socioeconomics.  Children who have suffered violence grow into adults with limited abilities to trust themselves and others.  Adults abused as children may become successful, but there is an armor which prevents them from experiencing life at its fullest.  Abuse by the person(s) who was supposed to love and protect you sets up a confused and wounded sense of love and self.  As adults with subsequent relationships and learning we can recover and learn to give ourselves the love, honor and respect we deserve.  We have to stop hurting each other. It is not okay to take hard feelings out on one another.  We need to take responsibility for our happiness and recognize our loved ones and respect our children as individuals with their own rights and feelings.  We do not have any right to harm anyone just because they love us and happen to be part of our family.  As survivors, we must realize absolutely nothing justified being hurt at the hands of a loved one.  No one has the right to hurt you.  It is ok to take time to heal.  You are neither the cause nor the solution for violence in another human being.  If you are struggling with these issues, please seek medical and psychological treatment.

There are many issues that may require greater care than can be offered through reading a book and doing the proposed exercises.  If you are a survivor of a traumatic childhood or later life experience that continues to haunt your thoughts and impact your life, you may be experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Please consult a physician or mental health professional .  There is a wonderful organization for survivors called Gift from Within, which can be visited online at www.giftfromwithin.org.  Please know that there is excellent help available and seek assistance.  If you have not dealt with your personal issues of abuse, it is highly recommended that you seek professional counseling.  There may be many ways that these early experiences prevent you from fully embracing life and happiness.  Outgrowing the Pain: A Book for Adults Abused as Children by Eliana Gill is a wonderful book and a great place to start.  The National Board for Certified Counselors at www.nbbcc.org,  the National Association of Social Workers at www.nasw.org,  the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists at www.aamft.org  and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapsits www.camft.org all provide extensive lists of licensed clinical professionals across the nation.  Be sure to look for a clinician with experience in the field of abuse.

( partially excerpted from Reweaving the Web, Amatruda and Helm- Simpson)

It's a family affair
One child grows up to be somebody who just loves to learn
and another child grows up to be somebody you'd just love to burn.  Mama loves both of them you see it's in the blood
(Family Affair, Sly and the Family Stone)

   Recently, I found myself in deep conversation with a physician about the prevalence of addiction in our society and its resultant cost to all on a physical, emotional and spiritual level.  His comments reflected how frequently many patients are treated for the illness, but never address the addiction that catalyzed the illness. It has been seven years since I first composed "Reweaving the Web: The Treatment of Substance Abuse" with my colleague Kate Amatruda. In that time we have witnessed a surge in compulsive, addictive behaviors extending to gambling, video games, virtual addictions, sex and the Internet.  There has also been a  giant step forward in the understanding of brain chemistry and the neuroscience of addiction.  It is being discovered and validated that many of these addictive, compulsive behaviors involve the neurotransmitter dopamine, producing a physiological sensation of joy, relaxation and a desire for greater amounts of time and energy to be spent in the pursuit of these feelings. This research examines the "reward center" of the brain, neurons that comprise the ventral tegmental area, the nucleus accumbens and the prefrontal cortex, raising the levels of certain neurotransmitters, in particular dopamine For a more in-depth look at this research, go to http://www.utexas.edu/research/asrec/dopamine.html  As clinicians, we must be able to recognize the distinctions between mental illness, life dissatisfaction and addiction.  There are truly people suffering with mental and emotional illnesses which are greatly relieved by psychopharmacology.  We must help those whose addiction is self medicating to understand their challenges and  to not compound the mental illness with the additional challenge of addiction.

Codependence is when a loved one is in the throes of addiction and you cannot help but think you are the answer to their problem.  The addict is always ready to let people know why they are responsible for the misery in the addict’s life.  In my childhood home; I was never certain what level of violence I would encounter, or which possession might be missing when I arrived home. My brother became addicted to heroin in his last years of high school.  My last years of high school were hell.  Did he take the TV this time?  The TV was the Golden Calf because he liked to watch it as he ‘nodded off.’   I came to understand addiction and codependence as a sort of never-ending PTSD, a constant cycle of traumatic shock, stress, numbness and depression with no end, the war that raged within the addict and enveloped all those around him. What do most people wish for when they lose a loved one to illness and death?  Most folks hope that when they awaken the next day, it will all have been a dream. The lost person will be standing in front of you healthy and ready to be embraced one more time. In the disease of addiction and codependence this hope, dream, or illusion repeats in an endless loop.  The addiction takes over the life of a loved one and the bottom falls out. There are harsh words, violence, theft, and feelings of being out of control.  A few hours, days or weeks later, the families are confronted by the loved one they knew who is no longer under the influence.  He/She is sorry, vulnerable, repentant and asking for another chance.  Family members’ emotions range from disgust to compassion, anger to sadness, rejection to relief, futility to forgiveness.  These same mixed emotions are mirrored in the addict who may feel remorseful, yet, entitled to his/her excesses with drugs and subsequent reacceptance.  Compassion becomes difficult to maintain.    The grief that never ends is the nature of addiction: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance endlessly cycle through your heart each time addict resurfaces.  The addict attempts sobriety.  The family is waiting with hope and open arms.  This is the hardest aspect of the codependent process:  How do you give up hope and witness the self destruction of your son, brother, daughter, sister, father, or mother?  If it were easier to just let go, the family could finish the grief process and move on.  Outsiders look at the family and just shake their heads.   No one on the outside can understand why anyone would give this person one more chance.  The only explanation is "blood is thicker than water." It is not logical.   Although codependence surfaces as wanting to control the person and the addiction or taking too much personal responsibility for another's choice to use drugs, this is not the only motivation at work.  There is a deep human desire to want to see those you love survive and thrive. It is elemental.  It is cellular. It is the refusal to lose your dreams for the person's health and soul.  It is human bonding, attachment and love. You want to hold onto this person you have loved.  It is the desire that your family continue to grow and prosper.  It is the desire to believe that your parents (if they are the addicted ones), truly can take of you.  It is the belief that we are all given second, third, fortieth chances to move forward and grow.  It is the belief that self destruction and death can ultimately be reversed.  With all these complicating and conflicting thoughts and feelings, it is hard to know which way turn when the bottom drops out once again.    Do not use your commitment to others as an excuse to refuse your path.   Being the mother of a child who suffered a disability, I learned to honor the wisdom of recognizing when taking care of another actually is the path.  Yet, there is always a need for balance. Self care needed to be as simple as time for meditation, a walk or a favorite book.   If the care of another is so all-consuming that we neglect ourselves, neither person will flourish.  We will soon be in a place of burnout and resentment that leaves no room for the either person to grow and develop.  Even Mother Theresa took a month each year for retreat!  While we may not be able to accomplish all of what we want to do while we are engaged in parenting or the caretaking of another, we do not need to abandon our purpose all together.

     Our country’s dis-ease is growing as we medicate younger and younger patients to better fit into society’s expectations.   Schools were eliminating programs in PE and the arts to make room for more study time on core subjects; yet, our kids continued to lag behind and manifested more serious mental health symptoms.  It was becoming commonplace to put kids as young as six years old on medication for hyperactivity or bipolar disorder. It was recently in the news that a two year old had died from an overdose of medications described for bipolar disorder. As far as I have read there are no clear guidelines for this diagnosis or medication at age two.   Children with difficulty navigating social situations were being considered for autistic spectrum disorders.    Is it possible that the diagnoses themselves  relieve the tension of families and schools of the responsibility for expecting every child to behave in a manageable way?  Can we accept a disability or illness better than we could accept the discomfort of behavior that challenged a socially prescribed system?   The DSM IV, the Diagnostic Statistical Manual for clinicians in mental health, grew exponentially to include most responses that did not fit comfortably into the status quo. The challenge for me in psychotherapy became the challenge of treating what was truly debilitating, painful and unmanageable, without becoming a social police officer, who labeled and imprisoned or medicated any thought or behavior, which challenged social values and expectations.  I have worked with many clients who are suffering from severe mental illness, as well as clients, who are just in need of support, knowledge and time to reconsider and reflect. 

Drugs, alcohol, over-scheduling and over-analysis relieve more than physical pain.  The pain they relieve is existential: this pain derives from the realization that the life , although satisfactory on an outer level, is not feeding the soul.  Although your house is in order, you have the job for which you studied and trained, and you have a loving companion and family, something is missing    It is uncomfortable to bring up the fact that you may not be happy with all the elements of the “the American Dream.”  This is another ambiguity in the Hell of addiction.  How can you have everything that is socially identified as the ultimate goal and still be lacking?    This type of discontent points to something far more threatening.     If security and happiness cannot be bought or medicated, would everyone stop working so hard to buy things?   Would the economic machine that runs our country stop? What would happen then?  If everyone started to experience self sufficiency and satisfaction with less and engaged their minds in independent thought and learned to create with what is around them, what would happen?  If we had a country of engaged, creative people rather than folks willing to trade their time for possessions, how would this country continue to exist?   Quite well, I imagine.  Our current system was developed by independent, creative thinkers. 

Consider  the idea that we may have taken this model of consumption to its natural end with the mental, emotional dissatisfaction of the individuals as the prominent symptoms of a need for change.  If we, as individuals, take responsibility for our own happiness and sense of purpose, we heal, our society heals and our world heals.  No one person’s or one nation’s happiness takes precedence over another.  True contentment does not hurt others in the process.  There are many cases of true dysfunction and mental illness, which benefit from medication.  Yet, skyrocketing numbers of prescriptions for anxiety and depression in a society must lead us to question whether there is something inherent in that society that also requires examination and treatment.  It is very important to distinguish between physical and emotional conditions, which caused unbearable pain and needed to be managed medicinally and symptoms that are wake up calls from  spirit.   We need to let go of mind, body and spirit numbing behaviors.

As human beings we need a creative, flexible mind to survive. Creativity can be silenced through addiction, mental illness or loss of a loved one. It may also be awakened during these same times of remarkable stress.  Rigidity breeds intolerance, resentment, self- righteousness and violence, all in the service of trying to control the uncontrollable: life.  To allow one’s self freedom outside of “the box” is frightening to some people. In graduate school, I happened upon a used copy of When Society Becomes the Addict by Anne Wilson Schaef.  It provided a missing piece for my understanding of addiction as a symptom of the emptiness many people felt with industrialization.   Going through the expected motions of school, work, school and work to meet an external standard of success creates a gap between self and society, an inner dissatisfaction.  Drugs and alcohol quiet the anxiety and dull the sense of dissatisfaction. A society that separates people from self-satisfaction and fulfillment is a society that encourages addiction.  I see addictions growing into areas of porn, gambling and virtual realities.   These are battlefields for the holy and the unholy.  To be able to participate in these mind- numbing activities is supposed to be the ultimate statement of personal choice and freedom for some and the ultimate condemnation for others.  I imagine the truth, as always, is somewhere in between. What worries me about these pursuits is the potential for a numbing sort of mind control, obsessive behavior and a deeper disconnection from self.  People are often unaware of when their relaxation activities began to dominate their thoughts and lives.  The disconnection is both reinforced and relieved with the use of drugs, alcohol and a variety of self- defeating behaviors. Addiction is one of the most challenging and complicated issues facing today's society due the double messages given through media, conversation and behavior.   As an individual and as a society, we need to rediscover the joy of living sober and in the moment.  Addiction is the ultimate in “ being stuck”.   It is a circular, inflexible, self- destructive response to a situation in which the addict feels hopeless.  Flexibility, tolerance and creativity these are the keys that unlock the doorway towards self understanding and healing. Understanding emotions, symptoms and behaviors as messages from  spirit and signposts to the next step on the path lead to deep satisfaction and contentment.

Defining Use and Abuse

.   Addiction is defined as the use of anything that is habitual and compulsive that interferes with the individual's physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.  It includes all drugs, alcohol, sex and pornography, gambling and video/cyber addiction.  Chemical dependence lives in the mind, body and soul.  For the addict, there is rarely a thought about leisure time without a subsequent thought regarding the drink or drug that might be taken and how to obtain it. Vacations or events will often be described with reference to clubs visited and wines served. The compulsive behavior is intertwined with the obsession of the mind, the physiological addiction of the body and the perceived relief of the soul. The individual and family fall into a deep abyss when addiction is the issue.   Attempts to get out are often met with repeated failure and the addict and their loved ones fall deeper into darkness.     

Physical warning signs of addiction may include extreme irritability, defensiveness, bleary eyes, awkward gait, odor on breath, inability to sit still, impaired thinking, incoherent or repetitive speech and listlessness. If the aforementioned physical signs are present be sure to seek medical help to rule out any other serious etiology.   Additional behavioral patterns may include:

·        A history of missed appointments for meetings deemed valuable by the addict

• Lack of movement in life and an overall impression of ‘being stuck’

• A sense that someone or something else is always responsible for the addict’s lack of progress

• An extreme emotional immaturity and entitlement in what is expected from others

• A repeated history of "geographical cures", i.e. moving  or changing jobs to solve  problems to no avail. 

• A history of failed intimate relationships including friendships with little or no resolution.

• In students a marked decline in school and social involvement

• An obsessive /compulsive component pattern.

• Family history of drug or alcohol use

• History of abusive or one-sided relationships.

• History of chronic pain complaints suggesting addiction to pain medication.

Bearing in mind that denial is the primary defense that sustains addiction, please consider the following self inventory.  Be aware of your responses and whether you are comfortable in your truth.  Let your body be your guide.

If your answers to the above questions leave you with a positive, healthy impression of your use and participation in these activities, then move on to the next section of Innerlandscape.  If they don’t, you must pause and consider if doing the work of this book is going to create more discomfort and anxiety. If your response to anxiety is to engage in behaviors that may be self destructive, first seek help with that behavior.  A support group is essential.  The twelve- step groups are available across the world for no charge and are a great place to start.  People with addictions repeatedly show everyone around them that despite their best intentions and purest will, the mental obsession and physical craving for their drug or behavior of choice will quickly destroy what has taken a lifetime to create. A single individual or source of intervention cannot counteract such powerful forces.  It is ok to take time to heal.   Denial is the primary defense in the disease of addiction and coaddiction.  Knowledge and the ability to confront the truth are the ultimate undoing of denial.  Recovery is a lifelong process.   Twelve Step members often refer to themselves as "recovering."   Addiction is never cured: rather it is managed to throughout the life of the individual.   You cannot do deep work if you are going to return to your addiction of choice.  Recovery is the single most important thing you can do for yourself .

       TREATMENT   

 Current research is suggesting that intensive, integrated psychotherapy may be the treatment of choice for issues ranging from addictions to borderline and bipolar disorders.  As clinicians, many of us know the feelings of success when a short term intervention is complete and effective, but many more of know that interventions with deep clinical challenges require more tools and more time. This work is very effective and its concepts have been used in various forms for thousands of years by Eastern practitioners of meditation and mindfulness.  In the Buddhist teachings,  on detachment it is noted that by separating yourself from the causes of suffering such as negative thoughts and expression, you can find an inner peacefulness.  With these therapies clear structured protocols have been developed to keep therapy on track and focused.  It is noted throughout the literature that the therapeutic essentials of a  trusting relationship, time and consistency are necessary in this work.   

        I do not question the contribution of medicine and psychology to healing and a better quality of life, I only suggest a closer look at the disturbing trend away from any personal responsibility for the healing process.   For many people, self included, medication and psychotherapy have been lifesavers.  People need to continue all necessary medical treatments and fully engage in the treatment; so. that it may be of shorter duration and deeper healing. Take the prescription that helps you.  Medicine and access to medical treatment are a privilege and a blessing. There is greater peace in everyone’s life, when someone diagnosed Bipolar takes their lithium.   A natural balancing occurs.  When someone with schizophrenia takes the appropriate medication, the world becomes manageable and less frightening.   Attention Deficit Disorder is relieved by Ritalin; the chaos and rapidity of the mind slow to a speed that makes completion of a task possible and interrupts the vicious cycle of self condemnation and depression. Antidepressants are a lifeline for people, who are in a dark place of despair none of us would willingly enter.   Appointments for psychotherapy, massage, physical illness are all extremely valuable, if they do not become the dominant theme in life.  People, places and things are placed on our paths to help us heal and move on. The message is  to honor your body and its wisdom,  How do you recognize the difference between medicinal and addictive use of a behavior, treatment or substance?    I evaluate whether each behavior or medication allows greater peace and happiness or supports unfulfilling patterns.  I consider each behavior and whether it creates havoc within my life and the lives of others around me. If using this substance negatively impacted the lives of loved ones, then the use was destructive.   Avoiding caring friends or being avoided by them is a signal to stop and reevaluate.    If the drug eliminates self destructive behavior and did not sacrifice  health, it was medicinal and I was grateful for its existence.  If using the substance negatively impacted the ability to live life joyfully and spend time doing things that feed the soul, then its use was harmful.  If there is a medical reason for taking a drug, be grateful that it is available to you and be happy with the magic of its ability to help you thrive.  If you have a more complex issue of drug or alcohol dependence, you need help to recover and move on to new pathways.  Dependence on a substance is like the dependence on a way of being.  There was probably a very good reason it started and you will need time and support to change.   

While strongly supporting this work, I also believe in the mystery and wonder of looking at the messages that arise from within, including those that present themselves each day and night.   A special gateway to these messages opens each night through our dreams.   In the realms of dreams, symbol and image communicate our deepest truths unfiltered by the conditioning of our lives and the expectations of others. Understanding these symbols infuses life with magic and mystery.  While appreciating the structure and consistency of these techniques, I do include the messages that arise from our other states of consciousness.  It has always seemed to me for a person to feel grounded, happy and 'at home all parts of their experience should be honored.  This sense of home is inside; a place of contentment; a place of deep satisfaction like a slow, deep exhale, the gentle fragrance of an unexpected flower, a golden sunset outlining marshmallow clouds, the taste of a freshly peeled orange or the snowy silence of winter’s dawn.  This home is with you wherever you go.  I call this home the Innerlandscape.  I invite you to continue the exploration of Innerlandscape.  There is nothing particularly exceptional about my journey.  I was born into the working middle class, in the middle of America, in the middle of the twentieth century.  I have benefited from meeting and learning from many people in many walks of life.  There is something exceptional about every journey, when you are both the traveler and observer. When you are willing to push the edges of accepted reality, the unexpected magic of a given moment embraces you and encourages you to bring forth truth and why you are here.  Let’s get started.

 CONTINUE TO CHAPTER III: The Four Practices: Words, Art, Movement and Silence